today, there was this council applicant interview
yea i remembered how i did last year.
i told myself i'll do my best to do a good guy in sch.
as in hardworking and contribute alot and stuff.
yea at that point of time it was pretty.. cool.


i was in charge of taking photos for e applicants.
yea i did my job well.
(and probably with pride too.)
someone then asked,
'so.. hows ur council life so far?'
-silence-
yea i really dont know.
at e start it was exciting. really exciting.
committees, tasks, council friends etc.
today?
well u can infer.


been branded 'a slacker'
reaction - what the fuck.
yea thats eactly how im feeling now.
what the fuck bro.
yea theres alot of misunderstanding.
YEA I KNOW THAT.
do they know about it? NO.
why do they not know about it?
COZ ITS A PURE WASTE OF TIME TRYING TO EXPLAIN ANYWAY.
so what resulted in e end?
BEEN BRANDED A SLACKER.


those who got to read this,
understood e contents,
and feels that im a slacker,
oh boy good luck to you.


then while on my way home,
"sometimes action speaks louder than words"
yea great. tell me if u were me would u still care?
or would you sit back and get ready for studies.
even the closest friend of mine can say those stuff.
im jus.. speechless.
its not e sabo-ing, i know she dun hav tat intention.
its e process of not thinking thoroughly
and how would ur words affect e way others see me.


now come to think about it i've been emo-ing alot.
but today i think that isnt called 'emo-ing'
its jus thinking for others too much.
to help people yea i suffered alot,
not physically pain e.g. POW that kind la.
those things might be insignificant to them.
and they dont notice wad im doing either.
ITS OKAY YOU KNOW ITS PERFECTLY FINE.
i've been doing all these 'backstage' work for a long time alr.
alot of times i told myself to 'jus heck care la,
like as if they'll appreciate wad u did like tat'
but i jus cant.


eh.
this is a long entry
so i'll do a summary.
all in all,
1)this isnt emo-ing.
2)being branded a slacker isnt fun.
3)someone teach me how not to be thinking for others so much.
4)sigh.